You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide
Well the time has come to tell the story of the guy who for 13 months had to run, hide and hold his bowels in check by holding back the need to take a shit. In case you have never experienced what it feels like to be seating down with your favorite reading material and start taking a dump, only to have some asshole throw a cup of water over the stall onto you. Don’t know where it started, but for the next 13 months it was an all out war to any and every one of us. No place was safe. We tried to learn to shit while having our legs straight out in front of us so they couldn’t look under the stalls and see your feet. We tried RUNNING 2 miles to the NCO club while on watch only to have someone get you 2 seconds into your shit. Day or night, while in the spaces, barracks, NCO club, OR downtown. No place was safe. The ONLY place I found was the shiiter in the Imperial club, because it had no windows AND a good lock on the door so no one could get to you. NOW as bad as that all sounds (I still have nightmares!), it gets even worse. Remember what we would do toward the end of pay period when we didn’t have money? That’s right we went to drinking Umajoe because you could get a whole bottle for about 35 cents and could sneak it into the clubs. Well now you have the picture, drinking plum wine and not being able to take a dry shit. Not once but EVERYTIME you had to take a shit. It was down right cruel. Don’t think we’ll ever have anyone fess up to being the originator of this practice, but they hopefully have never taken a solid shit the rest of their life!!